Kendrick-LamarSooooo…. You are mad at Kendrick Lamar because  his fiance Whitney Alford’s complexion isn’t black enough for YOUR standards? When I first saw this trending on Social media, I instantly thought, “Are you forreal? Kendrick is a coon now?” It makes sense though, attack the rapper that is making conscious hits such as: The Blacker the Berry and King Kunta vs. the rapper that’s screaming about Crack: I’M IN LOOOOOOVE WITH THE COCO…   Who is Rashida Strober and why is this sister so angry over Kendrick’s engagement?” Shouldn’t we celebrate or at least respect love? After questioning the issue of colorism, or dark skin verses light skin in “Darkie Vs. Light Bright I, I knew I had to question this topic again and dig a little deeper. Why does this hurt? Why do we as black women care about the range of our  complexions centuries after Willie lynch?

Rashida Strober  is a dark skin feminist/activist and founder of Dark Skin is Beautiful.   Before I really learned what was going on, I  couldn’t help but think: “You could have found anything else in the world to be mad about and your bitter ass is mad because your favorite rapper decided to marry a black woman whose skin is lighter than yours?” Never mind that fact that his fiance isn’t just a random broad that he just met once  he got famous,  this woman is his Day 1/High school sweetie. You know, she was the one that was  there when Kendrick was riding around in that now famous mini van that covers his iconic “Good kid/m.A.Ad city” tape. Hell, she was probably riding with him on the passenger side. Yet and still, I guess none of that matters because her skin color doesn’t qualify her to be black enough. GTFOH!!!!

good kid/ m.A.A.d city

good kid/ m.A.A.d city

Here is Stober’s initial statement basically calling Kendrick Lamar a coon:

“Well, well, well would you looky here ANOTHER FAKE CONSCIOUS MUTHER F-KER EXPOSED. I will never support him nor his music with one dime of my money and encourage all dark skinned women not to either!”

— Via Madame Noire

Damn, really? It’s one thing if you choose not to support Kendrick because you are salty; however, to encourage all dark skin women not to buy his music is a coon move within itself.

dark sistaAt the end of the day, I’m not even mad with this “feminist” for her feelings. After I digested the article, I realized that she is speaking from a real place that is logical in her mind. Even though she sounds like a crazy bitter black woman at first. I realized that this sister is speaking out so angrily because the issue of colorism has hurt her deeply.  I came across something in the Madame Noire article, that cut me personally but in a different way:

“Her self-esteem was brutally assaulted at every turn by classmates who made her life a living hell. Known as ‘black and ugly,’ ‘monkey mouth’ and ‘African Booty Scratcher,’ she was told by many that she would never make it as an actress,”

— Via Madame Noire

When I read  the above quote, I couldn’t help but think about my personal battle with colorism. Both Strober and I are on two different ends of this colorism spectrum, however, we were both tormented during adolescences because of our complexions. Just like her, I also grew up getting teased because of what I looked like. Unlike her, the butt of the joke was, “where is her blackness because she doesn’t look like us”.  Just like this sister was teased for being too black, I was teased because I wasn’t black enough and I constantly felt the need to show that I was a black girl. Keep in mind that I attended predominately black schools. Growing up in Decatur, Georgia birthed shameful nicknames like: White Girl, Low white, pasty, and light bright. This “Colorism” is the very essence of  what “Black girl pain” is. This is different from being a daddy-less daughter. This is real and it is an issue that is crippling the black community as a whole. If we are too busy hating and fighting over the diversity of our complexions, we will NEVER unify and complete the movement  where it left off.

Everyone goes through something. During childhood, everyone gets teased for something at some point or another. The growth isn’t in the fact that you survived being bullied, the growth is in how you deal with it. These are the things that shape our character. The problem with “Black girl pain” is, if you don’t find a way to heal, that painful wound stays there. It gets bigger. Scar tissue builds over it, however, that wound isn’t healed internally. Bitterness eventually finds its way to that wound black-girl-eyesand that bitterness festers into hatred. This woman sounds hateful. I am also a victim of “black girl pain” Just like her, I was teased all throughout my childhood because of what I looked like. However, I made the decision to love myself and who I am as a black woman, regardless of how pigmented or pigment-less my skin is. I would never spend time hating on or demonizing another person because of their complexion. I’m sorry but I’d rather not keep Willie Lynch’s legacy alive in that way.

Colorism is real and hit hurts both sides of the equation: Dark skin and Light skin. As I sit write this article, I can’t help but reflect on my challenges dealing with this issue. Why do black women feel a need to tear each other down because of what we look like? I though black was beautiful in ever shade.

Below is an excerpt from The Willie Lynch Plan taken from The Talking Drum. This was the plan that was practiced on African slaves to condition them to be inferior for generations. Color is CLEARLY outlined:

I HAVE A FULL PROOF METHOD FOR CONTROLLING YOUR BLACK SLAVES. I guarantee every one of you that if installed correctly IT WILL CONTROL THE SLAVES FOR AT LEAST 300 HUNDREDS YEARS. My method is simple. Any member of your family or your overseer can use it. I HAVE OUTLINED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENCES AMONG THE SLAVES; AND I TAKE THESE DIFFERENCES AND MAKE THEM BIGGER. I USE FEAR, DISTRUST AND ENVY FOR CONTROL PURPOSES. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On top of my list is “AGE” but it’s there only because it starts with an “A.” The second is “COLOR” or shade, there is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZES OF PLANTATIONS, STATUS on plantations,ATTITUDE of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you a outline of action, but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Don’t forget you must pitch the OLD black Male vs. theYOUNG black Male, and the YOUNG black Male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE. And the MALE vs. the FEMALE

prison-light-dark

Wow…. It worked…. It actually WORKED.

Despite however you may feel about Kendrick Lamar’s finance, you cannot discredit the man/ artist that he is and you cannot discount the fact that he is a lyrical leader that many of us are flocking too during this time when it seems that being black in America is dangerous. We are seemingly reverting back to pre 1960’s America. For those of us who were born in America with no ceilings or limitations placed upon us, many of us are lost and in need of guidance. Black Lives Matter. We are starting to believe that again. Somehow that message was lost in translation. We forgot, then here come Kendrick chanting “King Kunta” reminding us of the strength of our people  through poetry.

GIRL BYE.