How do you define Cheating?
by BlaqKharma · September 8, 2013
I was out to lunch with my bestie the other day and somehow we got on the topic of relationships. Out of nowhere I ask: “Dude, what constitutes as cheating in a relationship“? It was a serious question that neither of us really pondered on. After looking at each other with a puzzled look for a few seconds, neither of us could come up with an answer. It has been days since we had that first initial conversation and the question is still fresh on my mind. How do you define cheating or better yet, what does it mean to be faithful? If you are in a committed relationship with someone, where is that fine line drawn? Is it flirting, kissing, or phone conversations texts messages/ private notes with someone that you lust for other than your spouse?
Cheating is nothing new. To be an “adulterer” was one of the worst labels a person could be given at one point in time especially if you were a woman. In biblical times, women were easily killed off for stepping out on their husbands. In July of this year, several media reports hit the net about a situation that happened in Nigeria. A married woman and her lover were caught red handed having an affair. The townspeople found out about this and immediately forced the couple out of the house and made them continue to have intercourse outside in front of everyone for all to see. If they didn’t continue, they would have been beaten with 2×4’s. The woman’s heartbroken husband let the town’s people further humiliate the two as he went home and threw out all of his wife’s belongings…. DANG!!!!
Could you imagine if things were done like that in America? Every other day there would be someone’s business out in the street literally. It’s funny to read of a story like this and compare it to life here in the states. Today, it seems that our society and culture has embraced the role of the cheater or adulterer. It has somehow become acceptable. If you have more than one partner or love interest, it’s okay. How did we get to this point? The CDC reports that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce today (I personally think that statistic is a little higher than what is reported), why do we get married? Better yet, why do we commit? Maybe I’m naive but after you reach a certain point in your life, don’t you get tired of jumping from partner to partner? HIV/AIDS and stronger strands of STD’s aren’t enough to make people realize that there are consequences to being “out there” like that.
Let’s be real, condoms are smart in theory but they are not full proof. Whenever you interact with someone on a sexual level, you open yourself up to that person in a different way.Whether you believe it or not, you inherit a small piece of them in some way shape or form. This cannot be treated so casually anymore. Even kissing is too personal and intimate. So again I ask, what exactly constitutes as cheating? Is it a physical interaction with someone outside of your established significant other or does cheating start before things reach that level. When are you officially cheating?
I think men and women define cheating differently from one another. Whereas, if a man is flirting with a female he works with he feels it’s just that, flirting. His significant other though may define that as cheating, because he’s giving a small amount of his time and attention to that woman. It’s no secret that women are driven by emotion, and guys most of the time we think of it as “the thrill of the hunt”. This get’s dangerous because we (men) will flirt only and say to ourselves “I won’t let it go beyond a certain point”…and the women we flirt with began to catch feelings because again we (men) are giving time and attention that she may not be recieving. I’m speaking from experience…and I would say I’m flirtatious by nature and I have to really catch myself sometimes. A subtle smile, head nod, glance can be taken out of context.