I have been blogging for about 7 years now. One thing that I can say is, technology changes constantly. With all the new policies and upgrades happening more frequently, it is smart to attach yourself to a group of like-minded people. A friend of mine referred me to the private Facebook group Bloggers Like Me. When I was accepted into this group, I thought I made it to nerdy-techie heaven. All I knew was that I was a budding writer finding her voice and was passionate about my craft. I was so excited to attach myself to a group of women (mainly black women) that knew how to express themselves with words. Just the idea of that is beautiful and empowering. This was two years ago.. Since joining this group, I learned things and even responded to questions that some of the ladies would post. Then came the day that I had a simple question, and that shot my experience straight to hell.
After dealing with the same hosting company for 3 years, I decided to switch and find a host that is better than my current one. I have a few blogger friends who I could have asked this question to however, on this particular afternoon (May 6,2016), something said, “Ask the sisters in the BLM room”. This was a great move in theory but, sadly, not so much in reality… There are well over 1,500 members in this group. It seemed smart to go out of my comfort zone and ask for help. Honestly, I needed help on this. I could have researched different hosts, but there is something about getting a response from a sisterhood of bloggers that made more sense to me. I posted my question early in the afternoon. What was interesting is that not one person responded. NOT ONE. People post all kinds of things in this group. There is no question that is too little or too great to ask a fellow blogger. The fact that nobody responded, when it is known that some woman in this group was available, was extremely disheartening. What I loved about this group was that it is all women from all walks of life. Some are stay-at-home mothers and wives and some even make a living blogging. I felt like this community was a great representation of me…
After I initially posted the question, I went on about my day. Early that evening I got back on Facebook and returned to the room. I didn’t receive any notifications or anything. Something said, “Just look for the post to be sure if anyone had any helpful suggestions.” Not only did I go back to the page, I searched it and could not find my post anywhere. Even though I never found it, I said…”I know the admin didn’t delete my question.” Even now, I am still giving the benefit of the doubt… I made another attempt to ask my question and the exact same thing DIDN’T HAPPEN.
What was even worse was this question could have been answered in a sentence. All I wanted to know was “Who is your host and would you recommend them? What do you like about your host?” After being ignored again, I said “Ok, this obviously isn’t the group for me.” I posted a status in the group saying that I had been a part of this group for at least two years and I was disappointed, followed by a “smh”. After that, I removed myself from the group. I refuse to stay anywhere where I am ignored especially if I am reaching out and addressing a community of women who do the same thing as me: Blog. Shortly after that, I was notified by a friend that the ladies in the group were “Tearing my ass up” as it was put to me. Not sure how true that is, but if that is true, my question is: why? These same women who couldn’t take a moment to answer a simple question all of a sudden have so much to say when I express my disappointment. You didn’t see my other two questions yet, you saw this one and got all “swole in the chest” about it. THIS IS A PROBLEM WITH BLACK WOMEN. It seems like black women, especially, are ready to ‘pop off’ as a reaction to something perceived as negative.
Keep in mind, I removed myself from the group on my own accord. I find it interesting that women from this group have something to say about me expressing my opinion. I did not attack anyone. I simply stated that I was disappointed… Maybe the “smh” at the end was harsh for some, but it was honest. I was really disappointed. Why is it that I have to piss you off with my honestly after my bad experience for you to respond? Fukk your response now! I left the group because this group is not about sisterhood. It is quite disturbing that I got responses on that post, which was taken as negative or insulting, after asking for help previously on two separate occasions. I also find it sad that these same women, who went in on me or whatever, didn’t even think to add me back to address me. No one hit me up in my inbox woman to woman. Those are traits of a coward. At the end of the day, I learned the lesson that I was supposed to learn.